Your Limiting Beliefs Are Turning You Into A Monster

Caring for others requires a new frame of reference

One day last week, someone showed up three hours late for their appointment. The lady walked in the door and was already carrying herself like she was ready to start something.

I greeted her and asked her how we could help her. She said, in a tone that implied I should know what she was there for, “I have an appointment.”

I replied, “Ok. What is your name?” She told me and I looked at the schedule, only to find that not only did she not have an appointment at that time, but that we did not even have an existing slot for appointments at that time. And that she was late for one she had already scheduled for that day.

I gave her this information, and she angrily told me that we were going to see her now because she scheduled for right now. I explained a second time that she was late, that we could reschedule her, but that we could not see her at this time because there was no opening. She asked me when her appointment was originally scheduled. I told her, and she replied, “No. I told them on the phone that that time would not work so I’d be coming in now.”

This exchange went on and on, leading to her becoming angrier and angrier and ruder and ruder towards me and the other staff.

In her hand was a book about sharing the love of Jesus with others.

A 16-year-old boy was working at a Wendy’s drive-through window when a man came up and paid for his food. He asked for some extra BBQ sauce and, when he was unable to get any, shot the poor kid.

A restaurant hostess in New York was simply manning her station and, per policy, asked some potential patrons for their proof of vaccination. They became angry, and one of these would-be customers was offended enough that she began punching and slapping the hostess.

Whenever I read one of these kinds of stories, I think of how many times they are perpetrated by people claiming a connection to Jesus. Like that church that was holding the Trump rally that wound up in the room chanting, “Let’s go Brandon!”, a veiled way of saying, “f*ck Joe Biden,” which conservatives think is comedy gold.

Like a woman holding a book about showing others the love of Jesus who ignored multiple calls to confirm her appointment, showing up three hours late, only to berate the front desk staff as if it was our fault.

For supposedly being a “Christian nation”, we sure do not seem to be acting very Christ-like these days. On the contrary, loving others and “thank yous” have been replaced with a hearty “f*ck you”.

Last time, we discussed how before we can move on from this, we all have to see ourselves as part of the big picture. Every single one of us has been impacted by the pandemic in some manner. We are all inconvenienced in some form or fashion. To move forward into a place where we stop bullying everyone we come in contact with, we need to make this acknowledgment.

But oftentimes we have tunnel vision, and only see what is happening right in front of us or directly to us. We might turn our heads and notice someone else’s plight, but it will always be somewhat blocked by our own.

We need to broaden our visual field.

The question is, how do we do that?

First, we need to address our immediate root causes for our own struggles. For sure, address the symptoms. The lashing out. The rudeness. The negative attitudes. But those will always be problems unless we get to the root of them.

And our limiting beliefs are the root of these behaviors.

But, what are “limiting beliefs”?

I mentioned one earlier in this post: seeing ourselves as isolated and separate from the big picture rather than a part of the whole. I honestly believe this is one of the first things we need to address when it comes to how we treat others. If we want to treat other people better, we must learn to see ourselves as connected to others in some way.

The idea of a global pandemic, and the reality of one actually happening, should have done just that. Instead, it was used by people in power to further solidify people’s feelings of individuality and isolation. It was essentially used to make more limiting an already limiting belief.

But I digress.

Limiting beliefs are these thoughts and ideas that keep us from breaking out and becoming who we really are or are truly meant to be. Some are broad and apply to everybody, like fear of the unknown. Others are more specific to each person individually, such as certain religious perspectives.

These limiting beliefs are the root cause for why we lash out at others and do not (or refuse) to see ourselves as a part of the larger picture.

Which leads us directly into the question of how we determine what our individual limiting beliefs are, which is the question we will dive into next time.



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Jeremy Zerby

Jeremy Zerby

Hermeneutics, religion, pop psychology, self-help, and culture. They are all connected, and I am here to explain how.